guess that sounds a little bitter...catch me later, like on a Tuesday and things may be looking up.

Also...

Does it bother anyone but me that I have switched jobs about 5 times this year so far? I know I won't find the perfect place but choosing to spend 8 hours of every day with primadonnas, egotisital maniacs, unstable, menopausal, alcoholic women and old closet gays who are bitter at the world for not having the courage to just be what they are is completely beyond me. It makes me realize that I don't give a shit if I have to switch jobs ONE MILLION times...life is way too fuckin short to spend it around people who make you want to stick a barbecue skewer through one ear and out the other just to take the pain away from watching them flounder through life with the common sense and intellect of your average dung beetle - no offense to dung beetles.

Illin Like A Villain

I woke up today just prepared to have one of those days - a true Monday, if you will. Not only do I have a very prominent and painful pimple IN my nose, but I also didn't sleep at all because the sheer pain and the pressure of so much pimple gravy trying in vain to erupt kept me awake all night just longing to turn my nostril inside out and pop the damn thing! Gross, I know, but if you've never had one, don't hate.

Got to work and was promptly reamed by my employer - who had just returned from a trip to Spain...and you're in a bad mood because?????? - for (and just conjecturing here as the rant itself made absolutely no sense) among other things not having the ability to read minds, not seeing to it that the counter people at the airport were properly trained, not calling the 4 airports he had to navigate through ahead of time to roll out the red carpet and sticky buns because his highness was tired and hungry and a general assortment of other things that are completely and irreparably out of my hands.

I want to say this to that:

Employer, I understand that you had a long flight and unfortunately, due to the size of the real world of which you are apparently not a part, a flight to Spain is not only NOT short, but requires a couple layovers. Yes, Mr. Employer, I know that you think you are a celebrity of some sort but being a celebrity in your own mind does not entitle you to special treatment nor does it mean that the universe and all the people in it will do your bidding at all times - not even some of the time, truth be told. Sure, I understand that you are cranky because you were too cheap to spring for business class on a flight that all said, took way too many hours to even consider sitting in coach. And , yes I understand that you think you are too good to have to go through customs even though you tote about 10 cases of excess luggage which frankly, looks a little suspect when you are a man traveling by himself. But no, I don't think it is my responsibility to train the airport employees to service you better and more efficiently, nor do I consider it an acceptable expectation for me to be able to anticipate issues with your flight (delays or changed gate numbers - I am not God) while you are enroute. I strongly encourage you, Mr. Employer, to get your balding and rosacea'd head out of your narrow wrinkly ass and check your flight numbers like a normal person, accept that not all airport personell are operating above a third-grade intellectual level and just plain handle your shit like a normal adult would - not like a whiny, petulant child.

There, it's out. I said it.

I turned on NPR to keep me company at my increasingly boring and waste-of-my-time job and lo and behold I am greeted with the screechy, raspy, zombie-esque tones of McCain extolling the virtues of his ne'er do well running mate Mrs. Palin...Mrs. Palin of the small town of Wasila who has awakened to find herself thrust onto the Nation's centerstage in an effort to offset McCain's old-fogey-ish, increasingly contradictory chauvanistic and elitist opinions which are becoming more confusing to follow as each day passes. The man is almost on life support and have you noticed that his right arm doesn't really move? It's like an automoton arm that sort of dangles when he's not using it...maybe its an old POW wound, but does that make it any better or less creepy? No. Just like him being a POW doesn't make him any more qualified to run the country. In fact, come to think of it, don't we want the guy who WASN'T captured during his mission running the country? Hey, not saying the man ain't brave, but if that's the only reason you can come up with to be president, I think you're reaching. Anyway, beside the point as I said, as I don't think that bravery in the face of adversity necessarily stands on its own when you are vetting the applicants for the leaders of the free world. Neither does governing a small town of 5,000 people or renegging on everything you've done so far in your short, undistinguished political career in order to stand in front of the world in unity beside McCain and belittle the masses by behaving as if we don't know how to use the google button on the internet machine. Who are you fooling?

Anyway, 1.5 hours until blessed release from this awful place of business and 8.5 more until Monday leaves me tired, spent and shaken like an abusive ex-boyfriend who stops by to argue then expects a pity fuck. Good riddance.