Where am I?
Adjusting to life inside the bubble:
I must admit that to eat, breathe and sleep another person is an adjustment that I wasn't sure I would be able to make. I keep thinking that I must be wearing out my welcome or something. I keep asking myself what the future holds for me; us. I try to remember that I have only been here for about four months and that thoughts like this are normal, but I am driving myself nuts worrying about how he must feel with me so up in the air. I have never been more sure of anything and yet so unsure....like the weight of this is somehow going to make it collapse in on itself eventually, ya know? I must remember to laugh and that things are and will be what you make of them. If I sound unhappy, I am not, I am just unfamiliar with this type of happiness....unsure what comes next....
I miss my friends and having a "life" of my own and yet I don't miss my old life at all. I think maybe the key is to create the life I want because I finally have found a person who works with that idea of what happiness is to me. I admit that sometimes I miss the freedom of manipulating strange men in bars, getting free stuff, going my own way always and regardless....But when it comes down to it....I don't miss it at all. Like if I were to go and try to relive that it wouldn't hold the same mystery or interest for me now that I know there is this other me ready to be out here down with the LOML and that's it.
Don't you just love when people blog their inner dialogue? Pathetic ain't it? But may be good to look back on to gauge just how neurotic I really am. Am I the only one that drives myself crazy?
I must admit that to eat, breathe and sleep another person is an adjustment that I wasn't sure I would be able to make. I keep thinking that I must be wearing out my welcome or something. I keep asking myself what the future holds for me; us. I try to remember that I have only been here for about four months and that thoughts like this are normal, but I am driving myself nuts worrying about how he must feel with me so up in the air. I have never been more sure of anything and yet so unsure....like the weight of this is somehow going to make it collapse in on itself eventually, ya know? I must remember to laugh and that things are and will be what you make of them. If I sound unhappy, I am not, I am just unfamiliar with this type of happiness....unsure what comes next....
I miss my friends and having a "life" of my own and yet I don't miss my old life at all. I think maybe the key is to create the life I want because I finally have found a person who works with that idea of what happiness is to me. I admit that sometimes I miss the freedom of manipulating strange men in bars, getting free stuff, going my own way always and regardless....But when it comes down to it....I don't miss it at all. Like if I were to go and try to relive that it wouldn't hold the same mystery or interest for me now that I know there is this other me ready to be out here down with the LOML and that's it.
Don't you just love when people blog their inner dialogue? Pathetic ain't it? But may be good to look back on to gauge just how neurotic I really am. Am I the only one that drives myself crazy?
posted by Elle Dub at 3:35 PM
1 Comments:
A wise old proverb states,"one is not crazy if one talks to themselves,only when you ask yourself a question and then respond with huh?,what was that again?I also drive myself crazy so you're not alone,but that's okay doing something crazy every now and again diverts permanent insanity.If you think they are the one take them to a tarot card reader and ask about eternal love between the two of you,if he does'nt bail on you he might just stick around for the rest of your crazy ass life !
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