Wallstreet, Have You Lost Your Ever-Lovin' Mind!?

I hope the people who received bonuses go to sleep every night knowing that they not only contributed to the greatest recession since the 80s but that they are continuing to do so even now that they know the danger of their ways and can see the results they have reaped. They have no shame in the fact that the taxpayers that are currently losing their jobs and life-savings are paying their bailout while they continue to ass-rape society. There should be a law against this, right?

Why the Financial System Should Take a Cue from the Dog Whisperer

It seems a gross over-simplification to compare Wall Street to a pack of feral or neurotic dogs, however there are some basic truths about Wall Street's problems that parallel the cause of massive behavioral problems in our pets.

PROBLEM: Rewarding bad behavior - this is the biggest and most obvious problem in the system. Bankers and Financiers are paid to play with people's money. In more moral times this meant that they did so with the best interests of their clients in mind. Now we find that the bottom line is (and always has been but has been better concealed in times past)lining the agent's pocket and manipulating the client into engaging in dangerous trade practices or fraudulent investing with the promise of big returns and the guise of something above-board. By bringing in more money through fraudulent or less-than-respectable means, these agents are able to meet quotas and obtain massive bonuses - their reward for acting unethically.

SOLUTION: Cut off all bonuses related to or resulting from profits made from poor or shady investment practices. Do NOT give them any more money because it reinforces the greed that lead us to this poor place in our economy.

Also, set up quarterly reviews of financial transactions for each employee - this has to be done from within the company, but business and investment ethics should ALWAYS apply - you shouldn't be able to keep doing it because the regulatory agency is too busy to monitor everyone. Managers and higher-ups should be responsible for reinforcing ethical business practices. What we are seeing is a trend of turning a blind eye until someone gets caught and then ostracizing that individual and claiming the problem is solved. Don't think for a second that there aren't a thousand Bernie Madoffs out there who haven't been caught yet and won't be unless people take it upon themselves to make this behavior unacceptable.

PROBLEM: Rampant Greed - Ever noticed how once you get a raise it's almost impossible to go back to living on what you used to earn? Well imagine the thrill and self satisfaction of obtaining millions of dollars with little to no hard work (read: Fraud). This rampant greed is spinning out of control. People are more concerned with what they can get for themselves and are not interested in who they step on to get it.

SOLUTION: Cap earnings or regulate traders or more oversight? I don't know. This seems to me to be a PERSONAL problem which America fosters with its "Its All About Me" attitude. Until we can change that to "It's All About Us" there is no curtailing the greed and corruption. it's sad to me that there can't be a higher level of personal accountability when holding a public office, a position of trust or dealing with a persons finances. It seems to me that these are the areas of business that call for the highest integrity and yet, no one enforces it or encourages it.

By rewarding bad behavior we are setting ourselves up for failure. We cannot expect change to happen on its own. We need to be corrected when we are at fault so that we can learn not to repeat our mistakes in the future. We cannot simply continue this cycle of corruption and blame. Who can lead us? Who can show us how it is done? How will we learn? Well, as Cesar Milan would say - Calm, assertive energy and hard work.

Spinning My Wheels

I am in a funk of discontent. I cannot seem to reconcile my age with my current earnings and cannot find anything with longevity in this valley. I feel like I am on a ship that is slowly taking on water and I have no land in sight. The current state of the economy does nothing to assuage my concern that this valley has become too hard to live in. It was nice for a while to forget the outside world and put careers and dreams aside but now it is getting a little disconcerting as I have no plan B at this time. While working in Advertising/Marketing and PR has been rewarding to some extent, there isn't enough business in the valley for a firm to really stay busy - thus I have but my business licensing on hold until the economy turns and it makes sense to do so again. It seems like every frustration is magnified by 1000 here in the bubble - lack of job growth, lack of affordable real estate, lack of stability, lack of OPTIONS. I guess if I wanted to be a snowboard bum this would be the place to do it, but I have put my career and any real plans for the future on hold to make this work and now I have no clue where to go from here? How do you rejoin the REAL world? Will I be competitive in the REAL job market? Who knows, maybe this is just another by-product of turning 31 this month. I need a life.

The Dim Ages

In a Bushism-riddled, brain-addled last appearance before the press, ole George Junior has confirmed what some of us have already known - his 8 year tenure as President of this great nation has been what I can only dub the "Dim Age". Marked by pointed moments of stupidity and hubris, George's time in office has only served to highlight all of his shortcomings. For instance, is it any wonder that a grown man who cannot formulate an intelligent sentence is the proponent of one of the most destructive and anti-intellectual programs in the history of the American public school system - the infamous "No Child Left Behind" act? Glibly rubbing elbows and making off color remarks to foreign dignitaries has only served to heighten our awareness of his complete lack of common sense and poise hearkening back to what was I am sure a lackluster upbringing and exacerbated by a lifetime of failures bearing no consequences (thank you Daddy). I am embarrassed just watching him - it makes me cringe and I can only imagine the frustration and ire felt by the team of brilliant speechwriters who are assigned to try to make him look intelligent. Even sticking to the script has had very little success, although not being able to read and speak at the same time is certainly a hindrance to public speaking, is it excusable in a President whose simple task it is to inform and inspire trust in the American people? I think not. While we, the American people, have been forced to stand by and watch the fate of our nation decline exponentially in academics, world-standing, faith, trust and moral fortitude, George has been diligently hacking brush out on his ranch. I could literally go on forever citing all of the appalling and stupid things that have occurred due to Bush's presidency and so-called leadership, however I am so looking forward to an end to this madness that I refuse to dwell on it. I will simply thank the stars and stripes above that this is the end of the Dim Age and so begins the Age of Enlightenment - Yaaay.

Thirty One

Coming to terms with yourself at age 30 is a challenging and eye-opening experience. Now, on the verge of 31 I am hoping for even more clarity and think that this may be the year that brings about a greater understanding of myself and others. For instance, I have finally accepted that I will never truly know my parents and they will never truly know me. We will continue to exist within the notion of who we think each other to be as the foundation of our relationship with one another - strange. Also, the elusive happiness that we once wished for so fervently in the form of a bigger apartment, nicer car, better clothes, etc. doesn't come to fruition when you attain these things leading one to believe that either a. there is no such thing as happiness, or b. that happiness is more elusive than acquiring stuff. I'll go with b. I'm about to turn 31 and realize that all the things that I thought would lead to my happiness are simply milestones that mark my consumption. Things that I never thought of in terms of my happiness, although always having been there, are coming to the forefront in new ways. I no longer will take the highest paying job to make my own self worth more tangible or accept a job that may enhance my social life and take me farther away from those that I truly love. It becomes a balancing act between acknowledging your shallow, immediate-gratification-loving side and nurturing the side that doesn't always get to be heard - the side that thinks of others first. I can't claim to have reached any sort of conclusion as to how this balancing act can be maintained but I feel like in my thirties I am getting closer to understanding the integral part this balance plays in all aspects of my life and my interactions with others. Wow. I used to think I was a fairly introspective person, but I am realizing that this introspection was done in terms of how I relate to other people, not really about me at all and not really about others. The things I notice now make my past decisions and judgments seem frivolous even though at the time they seemed to hold the weight of the world as I knew it. Will I see todays decisions in the same light in another ten or twenty years? Everyone has always told me that you only truly find clarity when you hit your thirties - what does that mean for the 40s and beyond? I hope that it means a continuation of self-introspection and growth, not a decline. This has been a totally self-serving little piece brought to you by the number 31.

A Return to Common Sense?

I just have to add my two cents to the already over-blogged, history-making and progression-marking occasion of Obama's Presidential win - I woke up the morning following feeling such a renewed sense of hope - like it was a brave new world out there and the possibilities are endless. Yes, we have a lot of hurdles to clear. Yes, we will probably go further down before we go back up, but at least now, there is a strong sense that up is an attainable reality again. I can't remember most of Bush's years other than the obvious - war and rampant, unrepentant and uncontrolled, unregulated spending, backslapping and handshaking with the good ole boys, oil, oil, oil and more oil issues and the general antipathy of the very rich for the not so rich and very poor. I can't recall a single thing he has said, read (since you know he doesn't write any of his own material and in many cases it seems that he reads so haltingly and without conviction that you KNOW he just picked up the speech and did not prep earlier) or uttered that would ring throughout history in a positive way. There will be no book of famous quotes, no legacy of diplomacy, understanding, empathy or sympathy. I often wonder how history will misconstrue his role - will the powers that be rewrite history to serve the 'greater good'? Will there be anyone who is not afraid to speak the truth about his presidency in the harsh light of reality? I hope that historians will expose some of the horrible and selfish ways he has run (read: ruined) the country. I hope that they do not lavish praise on him for his handling of the trials and tribulations of this country since he caused a lot of them. I read on CNN that he was trying to say that he faced more challenges than other presidents: the war (s), the 911 attack, Katrina, the economy. But if you deliberately (if not knowingly, after all he is just a figurehead) put these things into motion then why should you get any credit for having to deal with them? PLus they were totally mismanaged anyway. Anyway, point is it is a brand new day and hopefully Bush will be relegated to history books and no longer have the position or power to hurt the American people any longer.

guess that sounds a little bitter...catch me later, like on a Tuesday and things may be looking up.

Also...

Does it bother anyone but me that I have switched jobs about 5 times this year so far? I know I won't find the perfect place but choosing to spend 8 hours of every day with primadonnas, egotisital maniacs, unstable, menopausal, alcoholic women and old closet gays who are bitter at the world for not having the courage to just be what they are is completely beyond me. It makes me realize that I don't give a shit if I have to switch jobs ONE MILLION times...life is way too fuckin short to spend it around people who make you want to stick a barbecue skewer through one ear and out the other just to take the pain away from watching them flounder through life with the common sense and intellect of your average dung beetle - no offense to dung beetles.

Illin Like A Villain

I woke up today just prepared to have one of those days - a true Monday, if you will. Not only do I have a very prominent and painful pimple IN my nose, but I also didn't sleep at all because the sheer pain and the pressure of so much pimple gravy trying in vain to erupt kept me awake all night just longing to turn my nostril inside out and pop the damn thing! Gross, I know, but if you've never had one, don't hate.

Got to work and was promptly reamed by my employer - who had just returned from a trip to Spain...and you're in a bad mood because?????? - for (and just conjecturing here as the rant itself made absolutely no sense) among other things not having the ability to read minds, not seeing to it that the counter people at the airport were properly trained, not calling the 4 airports he had to navigate through ahead of time to roll out the red carpet and sticky buns because his highness was tired and hungry and a general assortment of other things that are completely and irreparably out of my hands.

I want to say this to that:

Employer, I understand that you had a long flight and unfortunately, due to the size of the real world of which you are apparently not a part, a flight to Spain is not only NOT short, but requires a couple layovers. Yes, Mr. Employer, I know that you think you are a celebrity of some sort but being a celebrity in your own mind does not entitle you to special treatment nor does it mean that the universe and all the people in it will do your bidding at all times - not even some of the time, truth be told. Sure, I understand that you are cranky because you were too cheap to spring for business class on a flight that all said, took way too many hours to even consider sitting in coach. And , yes I understand that you think you are too good to have to go through customs even though you tote about 10 cases of excess luggage which frankly, looks a little suspect when you are a man traveling by himself. But no, I don't think it is my responsibility to train the airport employees to service you better and more efficiently, nor do I consider it an acceptable expectation for me to be able to anticipate issues with your flight (delays or changed gate numbers - I am not God) while you are enroute. I strongly encourage you, Mr. Employer, to get your balding and rosacea'd head out of your narrow wrinkly ass and check your flight numbers like a normal person, accept that not all airport personell are operating above a third-grade intellectual level and just plain handle your shit like a normal adult would - not like a whiny, petulant child.

There, it's out. I said it.

I turned on NPR to keep me company at my increasingly boring and waste-of-my-time job and lo and behold I am greeted with the screechy, raspy, zombie-esque tones of McCain extolling the virtues of his ne'er do well running mate Mrs. Palin...Mrs. Palin of the small town of Wasila who has awakened to find herself thrust onto the Nation's centerstage in an effort to offset McCain's old-fogey-ish, increasingly contradictory chauvanistic and elitist opinions which are becoming more confusing to follow as each day passes. The man is almost on life support and have you noticed that his right arm doesn't really move? It's like an automoton arm that sort of dangles when he's not using it...maybe its an old POW wound, but does that make it any better or less creepy? No. Just like him being a POW doesn't make him any more qualified to run the country. In fact, come to think of it, don't we want the guy who WASN'T captured during his mission running the country? Hey, not saying the man ain't brave, but if that's the only reason you can come up with to be president, I think you're reaching. Anyway, beside the point as I said, as I don't think that bravery in the face of adversity necessarily stands on its own when you are vetting the applicants for the leaders of the free world. Neither does governing a small town of 5,000 people or renegging on everything you've done so far in your short, undistinguished political career in order to stand in front of the world in unity beside McCain and belittle the masses by behaving as if we don't know how to use the google button on the internet machine. Who are you fooling?

Anyway, 1.5 hours until blessed release from this awful place of business and 8.5 more until Monday leaves me tired, spent and shaken like an abusive ex-boyfriend who stops by to argue then expects a pity fuck. Good riddance.