Office McGuyver

The day that the FedEx man has the power to dampen my mood is the day I stage an office coup....today is the day. I am tempted to erupt, but my misplaced sense of professionalism - I say misplaced because clearly the workplace is no longer the appropriate venue to display good sense - prevents me from taking immediate action. Instead phrases like "multiple homicide by stapler" or "serious maiming by inter-office memo" are floating through my head. I think I am so clever, but really I think this is a subconscious tactic to remind myself that I am a relatively intelligent human being and should be above this sort of erratic and violent behavior. Plus, I see visions of myself on the evening news in handcuffs and I am not wearing my power suit today.
I encouraged my friend in a similar situation to construct throwing stars out of rubber bands and paper clips and go for broke....still waiting to see how that panned out...perhaps I'll put my coup on hold. For everyone who works in an office, my sympathies, but I suppose I can't really complain as I do seem to find the time to type this blog....what a slacker....